Get your self out of your way

Lead or Follow but get your “self” (and your inner critic) out of the way

You are your most important leadership tool. Whether you put forward your small “self” i.e. your personality or your ego self, or your “Self”, your higher self, is the most important determinant of whether you are leading well or not so well.

And the truth is, we’re not always that consistent. If your past history is playing into the moment, instead of you being in the moment, chances are the “self” – the habitual, automatic self is going to take over. But if we are able to be present in the moment and open to our “Self” the person we’ve become, our highest self, the leader we’re able to be, then we’re likely to be able to access whatever is needed in the moment.

My definition of leadership is, being able to access whatever quality is needed to address whatever situation arises, optimally and in the moment.
Lyn Ciocca McCaleb

While it is worthwhile to bring in the past to inform us, we can’t allow it to trap or cage us. Because then we are not in the present. One of the greatest ways to be present is to do the work of mastering our inner critic or as some refer to it, the Voice of Judgment.

Behaviors are encouraged and discouraged.

We come into the world as infants, open and innocent. Even as little kids, we often see the world with curiosity and wonder. But things begin to change from ages two to seven. We become aware of the fact that we are part of a family, a neighborhood and often a community. What we want is to fit in, to be accepted, to be loved, to survive. To do so, we begin to adopt other people’s standards and rules. We begin to see what kind of behaviors are encouraged and what kind are discouraged. And we begin to behave accordingly.

Many of those messages are outdated, no longer necessary.

While there were some rules we learned that serve to protect us and keep us safe, like not running into the road or touching a hot stove, many of the ways we learned to react and behave to get us what we needed as children, such as being good or smart or even good looking, served to determine how we behaved as we grew up and are now adults.

And despite the fact that many of those messages are outdated, no longer necessary or in many cases no longer valid, we allow them, often unwittingly, to maintain their hold on us. The result is our inner critic often squelches us, diminishes our creativity, and rules how we behave and how we react.